I Wish That I Could Tell You.

How do you tell someone you're letting go?
I wish that I could tell you.
But you're asking me things that I don't know.
I wish that I could tell you.
The words that I would say
Sound as empty as the way you feel inside;
While the silence in between
Tells me everything that you deny.
I don't know how to help you.
I wish that I could tell you
How to tell me goodbye.

I don't know how you leave it all behind.
I wish that I could tell you.
Is it true a heart heals itself with time?
I wish that I could tell you.
How do you choose?
Do you hurt 'em with the truth or with a lie?
Where do you go to find the courage
You know I could never find?

I don't know how to help you;
I wish that I could tell you
How to tell me goodbye.

Where do you turn, where do you go
When you've finally reached the end of the road?
How do you say it? I just don't know.
When it comes to leaving you're on your own.
How do you tell someone you're letting go?
I wish that I could tell you.
I wish that I could tell you.

The Space Between Us

"The thin woman in the green sari stood on the slippery rocks and gazed at the dark waters around her. The warm wind loosened strands of her scanty hair, pulling them out of her bun. Behind her, the sounds of the city were muted, shushed into silence by the steady lapping of the water around her bare feet. Other than the crabs that she heard and felt scuttling around the rocks, she was all alone here - alone with the murmuring sea and distant moon, stretched thin as a smile in the nighttime sky. Even her hands were empty, now that she had unclenched them and released her helium-filled cargo, watching until the last of the balloons had been swallowed up by the darkness of the Bombay night. Her hands were empty now, as empty as her heart, which itself was a coconut shell with the meat scraped out.
Balancing gingerly on the rocks, feeling the rising water tonguing her feet, the woman raised her face to the inky sky for an answer. Behind her was the lost city and a life that at this very moment felt fictitious and unreal. Ahead of her was the barely visible seam where the sea met the sky. She could scramble over these rocks, climb the cement wall, and reenter the world; partake again of the mad, throbbing, erratic pulse of the city. Or she could walk into the waiting sea, let it seduce her, overwhelm her with its intimate whisperings.
She looked to the sky again, searching for an answer. But the only thing she could hear was the habitual beating of her own dutiful heart..."


"...When she walked into the living room, the stereo was already on. 'Moonlight sonata,' he said, looking up. 'I thought something pensive and beautiful would be appropriate. We can leave this room and pretend we're in a place where moonlight dances on the water.'
Sera smiled thinly and sat beside him on the couch. After a few minutes she felt the music enter her body and make it relax. She closed her eyes so that she was lost in a dark and orange world, where nothing intruded except the sacred sound of a single piano. 'When I was young I used to think the piano was my favorite instrument,' she said, modulating her voice so that it did not overpower the music. Her eyes were still shut, but she felt Freddy shift in place. 'But now,' she continued, 'now, I love the deep sound of the cello. Somehow, it sounds most like life - sad and sweet and lost. Lonely. I always think that if the heart could sing, it would sound like a cello...' "


" 'Feroz,' she said, wanting to explain everything to him - how certain notes of the Moonlight Sonata shredded her heart like wind inside a paper bag; how her soul felt as endless and deep as the sea churning on their left; how the sight of the young Muslim couple filled her with an emotion that was equal parts joy and sadness; and above all, how she wanted a marriage that was different from the dead sea of marriages she saw all around her, how she wanted something finer, deeper, a marriage made out of silk and velvet instead of coarse cloth, a marriage made of clouds and stardust and red earth and ocean foam and moonlight and sonatas and books and art galleries and passion and kindness and sorrow and ectasy and of fingers touching from under a burqua...."

Do You Ever Wish for Numbness?

“I can't control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. There's only now, there's only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.”

“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.”

“Maybe if I share the path I walk then a little more of your pain will vanish. I want you to heal, whoever you are. I don't care what pain you've brought the world, I just want yours to subside. No matter what, your path is yours. Dont follow misery or worry. Devote every moment of your life to improving your dreams. Love your world. Cherish the good you do. Let go of hatred. Dream of love.”

“Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.”

“All our young lives we search for someone to love. We choose partners, change partners... all the while wondering if there's someone, somewhere, searching for us.”

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.”

“They say true love only comes around once and you have to hold out and be strong until then. I have been waiting. I have been searching. I am a man under the moon, walking the streets of earth until dawn. There's got to be someone for me. It's not too much to ask. Just someone to be with. Someone to love. Someone to give everything to. Someone.”

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

Our damn computer won't work so i have to put this link here for now: http://ecolesdominicaines.blogspot.com/

Dear Mother.......

Anything goes
When everything's gone
When you lose all hope
There ain't no right or wrong
You can reach out
But you can't hold on
Anything goes
When everything's gone...

...Somewhere in time
She crossed the line
Where feelings are all gone
...She'll warm a stranger's bed
With a heart that's cold as stone.

And she cries
Anything goes'
Cause everything's gone
When you lose all hope
There ain't no right or wrong.
You can reach out
But you can't hold on
Anything goes
When everything's gone...

My Life at This Moment...

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So dont worry about people from your past, theres a reason why they didnt make it to your future"

P.S....I love you....

In time you will find that to be happy with someone else, you first need to not need that person, you will find also that the person you love, or think you love, who doesn't want to have anything to do with you, is not the person for your life. You will learn to like yourself, to take care of yourself, principally to like who likes you. The secret is not to chase after butterflies; it's to take care of the garden so that they come to you. In the end, you will find not who you were looking for, but who was looking for you.

I promise...
I will never love someone the way that I loved you ...ever again.
that I will never forget the times that you made me laugh and smile.
that I will never forget the feeling I got in my stomach when you squeezed me a little tighter.
I will always remember that achy feeling I got in my heart because it couldn't handle the the feeling when I realized how much I was really in love with you.
I will never forget the inside jokes we made together and the times we laughed about them.
I will always remember the way you made me feel ok when I felt embarrassed and then did something even more embarrassing to yourself to try to make me feel better.
I will never forget the feeling of our skin next to each other.
I will never forget the feeling I got when we kissed, even when it was a quick kiss.
I will never forger how good it made me feel when you looked in my eyes.

I will never forget all the times we cried together, or when you comforted me when I was crying.
I will never forget the good times, because they make up for all the bad.
I will never forget the phone calls or the text messages that would make my day no matter wat we were going through.
I will always keep the things you gave me and remember that you gave them to me just because you knew it would make me smile.
I will always remember the feeling my body got when you would touch me or put your hands around my waist.
I will never forget the times when you made me feel beautiful.
I will never forget how it didnt matter what I was wearing, or if I had no make up on, you still wanted to see me.
I will never forget the nights we stayed in just to watch t.v. just so we could spend the night together.
I will never forget the nights I slept in your arms and everytime you woke up and I may have moved just the littlest bit away you would pull me closer to you and wrap your arms around me tight.
I will never forget the feeling that I got when i got to wake up next to you and start my day off with seeing you before anyone else.
that I will always love the way you laughed and miss hearing it.
that I will always miss your smile and miss being one of the reasons you are smiling.
that I will miss the fun nights we had together when we just had the times of our lives.

I will always miss you..ALWAYS, no matter how far down along the road it is or how much of our lives we have lived without each other.
that even if I move on, and I am with someone else, I could never share with them what I shared with you.
I will never forget that day I realized I was in love with you.
you will never be replaced.
I will never forget the rides in your car.
I will never forget all that we went through together and all the feelings I got to experience for the first time because of you.
that I will always remember the way you touched my face when you kissed me.
I will never forget the late nights we spent together.
that I will never be able to get the same feelings from anyone else that you have given to me through all of this.
that you will never find someone who loved you as much as I loved you.
that I will never forget when you told me you could spend the rest of your life with me.
that I will never forget the times you talked about "when we are married" or "when we have kids".
that I will always remember how good it made me feel when you called me honey.
that I am so sorry for every feeling of pain I ever caused you and I hope that you never have to feel it again.
I will never forget the times you took care of me and made sure that I was ok, and would not leave me until you knew that I would be ok.
I will never forget all the hard times we went through and how we got through all of them together.
that I will always remember what we built together, the bond we had.
that I will never forget how you helped me through so much even when you just hugged me and told me that it was going to be ok.
that I will always remember that you were my first love, and that that feeling will never die, it will stay with me, forever, for the rest of my life.
that I will always be thinking about you, wondering if you're happy and if you miss us.

that I am so glad that you came into my life when you did, no matter how short that time was.
that I will always remember how perfect you were for me, and that I loved everything about you, and I love you more for your imperfections.
and I promise you that I will always remember EVERYTHING we shared together, the feelings, the love, the times, the places we went together, and everything we experienced because of each other.

P.S.

I love you.

Un jour mon prince viendra....

Must be rough to get to wear clothes like these and look as beautiful as this. Oh, and don't forget the private plane and the whole living in a castle part of the deal.....

Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I love you...

I love this. I'm totally buying her new cd now. Carrie Underwood kicks ass and has joined Mariska Hargitay on my list of girl crushes. Reba is there too btw. But I'll post her video later. :D

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ovh-LW0YBQU

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

Hotness Overload!

I just want to say that I have a total girl crush on Mariska Hargitay. (For those of you uncultured swine out there who think that my saying that has some lesbi-onic meaning, I highly suggest you google the term "girl crush" and read the article from the NY Times. And because I know there's all of one person reading this: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/11/fashion/thursdaystyles/11CRUSH.html)

Back to Mariska. She is flippin' beautiful and she's so kind! I've actually personally talked to her and she just amazes me more every time. Her husband's not too ugly, either. So, in honor of my undying devotion to Mariska, I'm going to gratuitously post pics of her and my other, completely heterosexual crush, Christopher Meloni.....*sigh*....

And now Chris:

Parce que JE VEUX....

La France me manque. Mailliez me manque. Mere Marie Antonin, Mere Anne Sophie, Mere Ste. Marie, Mere Muriel Marie Michael, Mere Agnes Marie, Mere Marie Noella, Mere Madeleine Dominique, Mere Marie, Mere Veronique Therese, Mere Marie Theophane, Mere Marie Andre, Mere Marie Jean de l'Eucharistie, Mere Marie Martine, Mere Marie Therese, Mere Helene Cecile et Mere Agnes Dominique me manquent. C'est pas juste. Je n'arriverai jamais comprendre. C'est completement nulle. Je reve de St. Manvieu presque chaque soir et je suis heureuse pour plusieurs heures. Mais il faut me reveillier and je me souviens quand je me leve que je ne suis plus a St. Manvieu et mon coeur est creve encore. Mes amis a l'ecole me manquent, comme Melanie et Celine et Felicite et Marie Therese. Elle surtout. Elle ne va pas comprendre pourquoi je n'etais pas la. Je veux parler francais mais il y a personne qui peut le parler avec moi. Mme Van Houtte me manque. La vie n'est pas belle chez moi ce soir. Et c'est mon anniversaire. Mon coeur est creve. Qu'est-ce que je vais faire?!

I am not resigned....

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and

company doesn't mean security.

And you being to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head

up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine hurts

if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate you own soul,

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

And you really do have worth.

Dirge without Music

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go,

The wise and the lovely.

Crowned.

With lilies and laurels they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.

Be one with the dull, indiscriminate dust.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,

A formula, a phrase remains, -- but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, --

They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled

Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom.

I know. But I do not approve.

More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave

Quietly they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Gently they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

"My theme is memory, that winged host that soared about me one grey morning of war-time.

These memories, which are my life -- for we possess nothing certainly except the past -- were always with me...

These memories are the memorials and pledges of the vital hours of a lifetime. These hours of afflatus in the human spirit, the springs of art, are, in their mystery, akin to the epochs of history, when a race which for centuries has lived content, unknown, behind its own frontiers, digging, eating, sleeping, begetting, doing what was requisite for survival and nothing else, will, for a generation or two, stupefy the world; commit all manners of crime, perhaps; follow the wildest chimeras, go down in the end of agony, but leave behind a record of new heights scaled and new rewards won for all mankind; the vision fades, the soul sickens, and the routine of survival starts again.

The human soul enjoys these rare, classic periods, but apart from them, we are seldom single or unique; we keep company in this world with a hoard of abstractions and reflections and counterfeits of ourselves --- the sensual man, the economic man, the man of reason, the beast, the machine and the sleep-walker, and heaven knows what besides, all in our own image, indistinguishable from ourselves to the outward eye. We get born along, out of sight in the press, unresisting, til we get the chance to drop behind unnoticed, or to dodge down a side street, pause, breathe freely and take our bearings, or to push ahead, outdistance our shadows, lead them a dance, so that when at length they catch up with us, they look at one another askance, knowing we have a secret we shall never share."

~Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

I don't want to be an American Idiot....

So let me get this straight. Our economy is suffering heavily and it's even been rumored that another Great Depression is lurking just around the corner, and yet there are companies willing to pay out $8-10 MILLION dollars for pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby (or babies, if the twins reports are true). This is truly a WTF moment. This is utterly ridiculous. So much so that it makes me angry just thinking about it. So I have to end now. But I might write more later.

Peer Pressure....

So I caved in to Cassie's peer pressure and I'm here. We'll see how intersting this blog becomes. Lol.